Life sure is unpredictable, and sometimes coincidental. My maternal grandmother passed 4/19, my aunt passed 5/1. 2 years ago my paternal grandmother passed 4/15 (around that date) and my aunt passed 5/3. So let me explain.... you're already in the grieving process. Starting to work through the memories and the sadness of losing a loved one and then BAM! another one passes. Your world seems to be totally off kilter. Life as you know it, seems wrong. It was such a shock! My body felt nothing, literally nothing. I had no expression or emotion for almost 2 days. Then something happened and the floodgate of grief opened and the floodgate of tears came to help wash the hurt and pain away. For me, tears help heal my mind and soul. I was so depressed, I didn't want to DO anything. I surely didn't want to sit at my pointless job, typing in pointless data. I surely didn't care that a customer needed something. Didn't everyone understand the turmoil, the broken heart, the hurt I had? Well after about 3 days of tears and hurt and sometimes pain, the sun is shining again. My mind is alert and my body is awake and ready to face this world again. I finally woke up not depressed, wanting to move out of the bed, not wanting to bury my head under the covers and pretend the sun didn't come up again. How could that stupid sun be shining? How dare it?
Finally feeling rested and wanting to get back to "life" as I know it - early rise to make breakfast for my honey; sit with my blanket over my lap and sip coffee while I watch the inaccurate Virginia weatherman; playfully waking my son for school. Finally the sun is shining - there are brighter days ahead. (the weatherman even said that...)
It's so weird how life changes after you lose loved ones.
I was counting my blessings today - my wonderful husband seemed pleased with the breakfast I made; he had given my a nice mother's day ring (purple stones - my favorite color) and chocolate (chocolate-my favorite). My son was alittle sweeter last night and this morning. My step son is also a sweet boy (just wish we could see him more). I even got some quiet time to myself, even if it was watching the silly weatherman, who was especially silly today. Time to sit with a warm blanket and sip my morning coffee. Time to reflect on how blessed my life is, all that we have, all that God has done and will do.
Definitely brighter days ahead..... thank you Lord for the promise that each day brings - a new day and hope for a brighter future.
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