05 June 2015

the joys of divorce with children


I have often wondered how to get my story out there. Here is my testimony of how my child’s parents worked together for the good of the child.  I am the custodial parent in our situation.  We have an inter-state case between PA and VA.  This makes the child support rather difficult to maneuver especially if I don’t agree with the enforcement court hearings being processed.  I worked very hard to make sure my son had a relationship with his father.  His father did not have a car or license at our separation. At first, I admit I was upset that the judge made me drive our child for visitation the whole way and back without compensation, without support payments being kept up.  I patiently did my duty for more than a year at which time I felt the father should make some effort in the transportation as it was wearing me out. 

We meet about halfway ever since without any disputes over dates times or length of visits. We cordially speak regarding our child in order to keep him informed.

 

Now I am remarried and I am seeing the non-custodial side of things with my current husband. His ex is allowed to manipulate the visitation, the child, every holiday, medical expenses, etc in whatever manner she sees fit. She continually harasses my husband with ignorant phone calls and court hearings. We recently were taken to court for missing a soccer game due to a planned, prior agreed upon, family trip to Gettysburg, which is educational in nature. The court actually sided with her!  I am still in shock. We are not allowed to be a family or take trips unless she agrees but she can renig on the agreement and take us to court later!  This is preposterous! I feel like the child support and custody courts allow her to harass my husband.

I am counting down the years until this child is 18 and I can tell her to go away and kiss my behind!

 

I feel the law needs to change towards non-custodial parents and stop treating them like they are the “bad guys”.  Also I feel the law should give equal parenting – such as change who the custodial parent is around the age of 10 or 11. I just feel the system fails both sides of the custody which means it is failing our children.

People need to learn to suck it up, humble yourself, and do what is best for your child which is have both parents in their life.

 

I hope my testimony of how I manage my custody in a nice respectful manner will help someone see that it can be done without the courts.

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