short reflections

The past is pain.
The future is worry.
The present, the precious present is a gift.


Move past the past, live in the present, don't worry about the future.


Forgiveness, grace and mercy move us into the present.


Tomorrow is a new day with hope of a brighter tomorrow.

from worry to calm

Sometimes you just need to know that things are okay, working good, healthy report...
I recently went to the doctor to address 3 issues I was concerned about. Everything turned out fine. I am completely healthy.

It's amazing to me how much energy and peace and calm I have today after finding the results.  I wish I could be that optimistic and positive thinking person; however I am not.

I was not a worrier until the last few years. I'm not sure where this comes from - age? new situations or circumstances? different influences as the people around you change?
I guess it's interesting to me how the mind works, how our bodies work. How do I "feel" so much better just from a clean health result at the doctor?  I am energized, positive and "feelin groovy". 

Now maybe I can find time to start exercising again...

Decluttering 2

I'm feeling the need to declutter my house recently. It comes in phases, spells, from time to time. I look around and realize (again) that I have books that will never be read, crafts that will never be completed, things that are not valid to us anymore.
So I started with a box of books in my floor for over a year. That went to the library. I haven't had a chance to read even 1 book. I hope the public will enjoy them.
I have more books that I want to find a place where some child will have enjoyment with them. I loved books. It gave me places to imagine to go with people to imagine you were or with.
I have several boxes in a closet that haven't been touched or opened since I moved in around 3 years ago. I need to pull those down and see if something in them can be disposed of or given away or sold. 
I struggle with this because everything holds a memory, everything I worked so hard to survive through in life was accumulated in those boxes before this marriage. I see the same struggle with my son. I guess we both understand that "things" are hard to come by sometimes so it feels wasteful to just throw things out.
I do enjoy that I can donate books to the library however how much longer will people even use a library in a building? I have physical hard copy books as well as digital. Sometimes my eyes do not want to look at an electronic device so I have been borrowing books from the local library. It also saves space and money to borrow them from the library. And the kids seem to enjoy it, which was a welcomed surprise.
I need to declutter however I hardly have the energy or time lately. I guess this blog post will have to serve as my wishful thinking...

the joys of divorce with children

I have often wondered how to get my story out there. Here is my testimony of how my child’s parents worked together for the good of the child.  I am the custodial parent in our situation.  We have an inter-state case between PA and VA.  This makes the child support rather difficult to maneuver especially if I don’t agree with the enforcement court hearings being processed.  I worked very hard to make sure my son had a relationship with his father.  His father did not have a car or license at our separation. At first, I admit I was upset that the judge made me drive our child for visitation the whole way and back without compensation, without support payments being kept up.  I patiently did my duty for more than a year at which time I felt the father should make some effort in the transportation as it was wearing me out. 

We meet about halfway ever since without any disputes over dates times or length of visits. We cordially speak regarding our child in order to keep him informed.

 

Now I am remarried and I am seeing the non-custodial side of things with my current husband. His ex is allowed to manipulate the visitation, the child, every holiday, medical expenses, etc in whatever manner she sees fit. She continually harasses my husband with ignorant phone calls and court hearings. We recently were taken to court for missing a soccer game due to a planned, prior agreed upon, family trip to Gettysburg, which is educational in nature. The court actually sided with her!  I am still in shock. We are not allowed to be a family or take trips unless she agrees but she can renig on the agreement and take us to court later!  This is preposterous! I feel like the child support and custody courts allow her to harass my husband.

I am counting down the years until this child is 18 and I can tell her to go away and kiss my behind!

 

I feel the law needs to change towards non-custodial parents and stop treating them like they are the “bad guys”.  Also I feel the law should give equal parenting – such as change who the custodial parent is around the age of 10 or 11. I just feel the system fails both sides of the custody which means it is failing our children.

People need to learn to suck it up, humble yourself, and do what is best for your child which is have both parents in their life.

 

I hope my testimony of how I manage my custody in a nice respectful manner will help someone see that it can be done without the courts.